[Valenwood/Bosmer Book] Massacre of Haven

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[Valenwood/Bosmer Book] Massacre of Haven

Post by Violet » Wed Jul 04, 2018 5:00 am

*Massacre of Haven*

by Codell Firvul, 3E 409

The year was 3E 397, the news of Woodhearth's destruction rang through out Valenwood like a hoatzin watching a hoarver devour her young. I've gathered eye witness accounts of many of the rulers of Valenwood as well as various commoners, knights, and savants at the time.

Queen Laredra was a beloved queen, assuming the Woodhearth throne in 3E 373 when her father Lord Silman of Vullain married her to the King of Woodhearth, the aged and gentle King Viradril Palinis II at 25 years of age. When Viradril passed away in Frostfall, 3E 389, she took it upon herself to mend the antagonistic relationship between Woodhearth and Greenheart. On the 27th of First Seed, 3E 391, Queen Laredra Palinis and King Colas Forrayn IV signed a non-agression pact between the two Kingdoms, and for the first time in over two hundred years, these two major Kingdoms of Valenwood were allies in both name and action. Her father, Silman Cosurthor, was there to witness the treaty signing, as was many of her family friends back in Vullain whom she had personally brought over to witness the signing. It was truly a glorious ocassion that was evidence of the bright future ahead of Valenwood, or so they we all thought.

The Five Year War had started just two years later. Two years into the Five Year War an Altmeri fleet came into the harbor of the port city of Woodhearth and sent a cascade of fire and lightning onto the surrounding canopy. Trapped inside the city due to the fire, many of the citizens fled to the docks where their boats were too being destroyed. A large percentage of the city was burnt down that day, including one of the largest Mages Guild halls in the province, the Conclave of Riana, and the southern 3/4ths of the market place.

One of the worst loses was the death of Laredra, who had been trapped in the home of a local fisherman whom she had often visited. Queen Laredra Palinis was considered a national treasure for her beauty, grace, and love for her people. She would regularly walk out of the palace and speak with her people face to face. She would often speak plainly, and would ask visitors to do the same at her. Laredra treated her subjects as equals, and they loved her for it, and with her death, the province erupted with a mournful scream.

Queen Ulandra of Eldenroot gathered any available forces that were not already fighting the Khajiit to go after the Altmeri naval forces, King Colas Forrayn IV of Greenheart gave Ulandra the port she needed to mount her assault, and King Camoran declared war with their ancient former allies to the west with full agreement from The Silvenar. No response was more drastic than the Bosmeri tribesmen in the Kingdom of Haven, particularly the Aragrinth.

When word of Laredra's fate at the hands of Altmer spread to the Kingdom of Haven, a sudden explosive distrust of Altmeri citizens ensued. This distrust only grew as many Altmer decided to flee into Elsweyr or Summerset Isles for their safety, both of which they were at war with. Many of the surviving Woodhearth citizens had decided to seek refuge within the walls of the Fort Timbermoth just outside the city, others had left for the Kingdoms of Greenheart and Southpoint. Establishing small camps and villages in and around the Haset Hyarnai, Elden Grove, and Lympan Floodlands regions. The Aragrinth Tribe was particularly paranoid, as one Altmeri adventurer who had been staying at the Crimson Dagger (whose owner was of the Aragrinth) at Haven city was found hung the next morning after (according to a fellow visitor staying at the inn) drunkenly stumbling into an employee's only area while looking for the restroom.

The panic and paranoia grew and grew around the Kingdom, particularly within the capital, until the final spark set the Kingdom ablaze when an unknown Altmeri noble from Moridunon visited the King of Haven. King Silrim, unbeknownst to his subjects, had friends in Moridunon and was attempting to persuade them to call the war off. One of those friends visited Haven without Silrim's knowledge and protection and, upon discovering an Altmeri nobleman in their city, the citizens of Haven set him ablaze along with his entourage. Once the commoners had drawn first blood, a cloud of bloodlust seemed to wash over them. They mercilessly slaughtered every Altmer in the city who had not already fled by night's end. Blood and Ash soaked the streets of Haven for weeks. Even now, 6 years after the incident, the Altmer population is not even a tenth of it's earlier numbers.

On the 4th of Evening Star, 3E 400, King Silrim Valekyl was ejected from his seat over the Kingdom of Haven following the end of the Imperial Simulacrum by both King Camoran of Valenwood and Emperor Uriel Septim VII. His son, Lord Anrim Valekyl of Cormeir, has been appointed as the new King of Haven following his father's departure. The Aragrinth Tribe's Treethane was executed as the instigator of the massacre, and many of their lesser tribesmen have gone underground since.

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Post by Infragris » Mon Dec 31, 2018 12:47 pm

This book needs an editorial pass. It's relatively solid, but there are a lot of spelling errors and general grammatical oddities: words like "through out" and "eye witness" should be written as compounds (throughout, eyewitness), there are a lot of punctuation issues (mostly commas) and some bad sentence structure. Usage of fractions (3/4th) is generally discouraged in a text like this. It's also an overly specific way of looking at the destruction of a market. I'll try to give a more thorough analysis when I have the time.

Authorial voice is a little bit inconsistent. Try to decide wether the author identifies with one or more of the groups in the text (using "we" versus "they" at certain points). IMO the text as it is right now works well from a remote perspective, so maybe pursue that.

A couple of rather pathetic platitudes (pathetic in the classical sense of overly emotional): "the province erupted with a mournful scream"; "Once the commoners had drawn first blood, a cloud of bloodlust seemed to wash over them"... A little cringeworthy. Of course, you can depict the author as the kind of person who uses this kind of sentences, but in general that kind of thing leads to cringe-worthy literature (especially since the rest of the text appears more level-headed).

"Two years into the Five Year War an Altmeri fleet came into the harbor..." these paragraphs are shaky lore, and probably the biggest issue in the text. The text makes is seem as if the Altmer navy attack was a part of the Five years War, which was the longer running conflict between the Bosmer and Khajiit - the war with the Altmer was the War of the Blue Divide, and was mostly a naval conflict. The description of the attack on Woodhearth as a sudden, destructive assault doesn't match facts from A Dance in Fire, where it is described as a long-lasting siege intent on starving the population (a tactical error considering Bosmeri cannibalism).

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